Friday night blues

Do you feel used that evertime i have something on my mind is you that i turn to, i offer you nothing in return but my burden and not always griff. Does it make you smile and wonder if we would have made a grate fit everytime i show up on yoru inbox with an ” you cant believe what i saw today” and you end up hearing about a long tale of a matutu drive doing what he does best, does it pain you that i never remember your birthday day or even wish you a good night after i have taken up your entire evening with un ending scripts with tales only a mad man would fathom. 

Please forgive me for i have never taken your feelings into consideration, forgive me for being selfish and self centered. But can you really say that you regret ever meeting me and having a chat with me, don’t i always make you smile, don’t i always make your cheeks sore from all the giggling  Doesn’t your heart feel at ease when you come to an inbox with someone who is actually interesting and who you can actually have a decent conversation with, 

But it’s ok i might kinda love you but I’m afraid to show it, i don’t fear the rejection, i just don’t want to, I’m not in the right place to think about this, 

This thread has brought me peace, ideas were ravaging through my mind like strong tides, i couldn’t bear to hold it in any more, I’m note sure if I’m going to read through it before i post it but oooh well, 
Sorry for wasting your precious time 



Some things up!!! 

This is a really weird day, i have tears in my eyes a hollow space where my heart used to be its a new year the new me facade is almost going out through the window. Best part, i don’t even know why this is happening for a guy in his 20’s these kinds of things shouldn’t be happening, i know i sound like im having a period ( basing my conclusion on what I’ve read on blogs newspapers, print outs …lol ). The emotions coarsing through my mind the blood pumping through my brain rich with hormones and feromone placing me in a bottomless pit of self doubt and uncertainess.
Forgive me , i wasn’t planning on writing anything today , but this is the only way. A grown ass man can keep his dignity and not look like a complete sissy infront of his peers. Let me put on the mask of a self confident individual with the heart of rock that seems not to ooze any emotion let me be what society requires of me and be a man.